As I started reading the Book of Mormon after General Conference, I didn't really think about how it would affect my life. I wanted to read the Book of Mormon because President Nelson had invited usto do just that, as well as to mark each time we read something about the Savior. As I've been reading (almost daily) and marking the verses about Christ, something has happened inside of me.
As I've found Him in the scriptures, I've felt more peace.
I'm not going to lie, the past few months (October + November) have been kind of crazy and emotionally draining. Von hasn't been sleeping as well as she used to which means I also haven't been sleeping all that well. Plus the past few months are some of the most triggering for me which can make my anxiety high (and it was pretty high.) There were a few moments where I truly just wanted to give up. I wanted to walk away from my life and be done with everything. There were moments when I almost did just that. And there were moments when instead, I turned to the scriptures. When I was a senior in high school, I fell in love with the Book of Mormon. After a breakup that left me extremely heartbroken, and trying to navigate the last few months in high school, I turned to God for the first time in my life. I prayed more and I earnestly searched the scriptures for answers, peace, and comfort. And I found the answers and comfort and healing I needed as I learned about my Savior. I didn't expect for that same thing to happen again, but it has.
He overcame the world so that we could find peace in Him.
The peace that he offers (as found in John 14:27 which says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." ) does not come from the world. It doesn't come from tv or food or Instagram or even anyone or anything around us. It comes from Him. He who knows exactly what we're going through and experiencing and feeling. He is the one that gives us comfort. For a long time, I've really struggled to turn to Him. I didn't know how to turn to Him. Even though learning about Jesus and God have been a part of my learning my entire life, I was at a loss. I was having a crisis of faith. Times like this happen in our lives. It doesn't mean we're bad or that the gospel doesn't hold the answers or that God doesn't give us answers and comfort. I still don't really have the words to explain what I felt and thought during my crisis of faith but I do know how I am finding my way back.
And it's the whole reason I started The Faith Project.
I was at a loss. I felt so far away from God. And I knew that something in my life needed to change. So I started to let Him back into my life. I started reading the scriptures more, and actually praying to God. Instead of dreading going to church on Sunday I went with questions and wanting to find answers and help others find answers too. Instead of pushing God away as I had been for so long, I started to pull Him back into my life. The other day I was reading in 3 Nephi 2:1 and it talked about how the people, even though they had seen signs and miracles, started to have hard hearts, blind eyes, and began to disbelieve the things which they had heard and seen. This verse hit me hard because that had happened to me and I knew at that moment that it would keep happening to me unless I made an effort every day to find God in my life.
My new goal now is to seek and find HIM in the scriptures daily.
As the end of the year is coming quickly, I'msetting goals for 2019 and one of them is to seek Christ and God every day. I want to strengthen my faith. I want to find Him in the scriptures. And even more than that, I want to build a Christ-centered life, and that starts with learning about Him. I am so grateful for the invitation we received in October to not only read the Book of Mormon but to also FIND Christ in the words. Maybe you'll finish reading the whole Book of Mormon, maybe you won't. But for the rest of the year, I hope that you can find Christ as you read. As we prepare for Christmas I hope you can make Christmas about Christ and continue to find Him in every part of your life. And to end this post I want to share one of my favorite videos about the Savior.