This Stage of Life

I know a lot of moms love the newborn stage and say it was/is their favorite.  

I’m happy for those people, but I wasn’t one of them. 

I was so exhausted (and I really really don’t do well on that little sleep), my boobs hurt, I was sore from pushing out a baby. And while I did love smelling her newborn smell and having snuggles 24/7, it wasn’t my favorite stage.  

I’m really loving this stage. Everyday Von is learning new words and new things. She loves to have dance parties and snuggle in the morning. Her favorite thing in the morning is to go to the fridge, try to open it, and ask for chocolate 😂 girl, I got you. Just after we we breakfast.  

I love how she smiles at me, hugs me, and gives me random kisses. I love that she falls asleep in my arms for most naps and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  

We read books and dance and laugh a lot. We also both cry sometimes.  

Today we played with this little dog we have. I would chase her with it and say “woof woof woof” and then she would say “woof woof woof” as she ran away laughing.  

I really struggled in the beginning of being a mom.  

Now I'm trying to enjoy this stage that we’re in and that’s my goal for every next stage of life.  

There are hard and beautiful parts of every stage, and I want to be better at seeing more of the good.  

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Father’s Day + The Best Surprise

I’m trying to be better at writing in the evening and scheduling posts for the next morning so I can have a post Monday - Friday. No one is asking me to do this, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to do, so here we are. 

Its getting late and the world is quiet, like it nearly always is when I write my posts. Von fell asleep just a minute ago and I haven’t moved her to her crib yet. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day.

Father’s Day 2019

Griffin and I celebrated Father’s Day and mother’s day with a fancy homemade dinner the other week, but yesterday we went to this funny little restaurant in Lakewood called Casa Bonita. We went with Griffin’s parents. His dad had been before and warned us that the food was not great but we had to go for the experience.  

When we first entered I felt like I was about to go on a ride at Disneyland, the way the line was set up.  

Griffin’s dad was right. The food was not great. But it was okay enough that we ate what we got.  

We also watched some of the divers dive into the pool they had and Von was just wide eyed, taking it all in. I should have taken some pictures because it was definitely a weird and fun experience.  

Today Griffin stayed home from church because he’s got a nasty cold. I went and taught his primary class.  

After church Von took a long nap and I worked on my book, but more on that this week.  

When Von woke up, we FaceTimed my parents to wish my dad a happy Father’s Day.  I’m going to Utah in a few weeks with Von and it will be my first time flying solo with her. I’m a bit nervous but also really excited about the trip. We started talking about my trip and my dad said “and you know where I’ll pick you up right?” I was slightly confused, I was thinking, maybe we’re going to ride the train home from the airport? And then my dad said

”from Denver”  

it took me a second before I said “wait what?” And then I started crying because I’m a cryer.  

My dad decided to surprise me and fly out that morning and then fly back to Utah a few hours later so I don’t have to fly to Utah alone with Von.  

I feel so blessed and grateful and it takes off a lot of stress. We’ve flown with Von before, but I haven’t flown by myself with her. My dad was going to just surprise me at the airport, but they didn’t want me stressing too much that morning so they told me! Best surprise ever! 

I’m so grateful for my dad and for Griffin. They are both amazing fathers and I’m so glad they are in my life. I’m so glad we got to celebrate them and all fathers this weekend. 

Now I’m feeling pumped and ready for the week ahead, I hope it’s a good one for you too. 

 

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Mom and Sis Came to Visit

Growing up I got to see my grandparents every week. One lived about 10 minutes away and the other about 15. 

I never realized how blessed I was to play with my cousins every Sunday or hug my grandparents weekly.  

As an adult who lives in a different state, I often miss those Sunday afternoons.  

The feelings of love and home that came with it. The feelings that I always experience every time I’m there.  

As a mom, I want Von to feel that love, security, and home feeling wherever we may be.  

Even though she doesn’t see her extended family members every week, we still get to see them often. 

On Tuesday my mom and sis drove to the airport (at 3am) only to learn that their flight was canceled. Major bummer. Thankfully they were able to come today instead. (Well, yesterday, since you’ll probably be reading this Friday)

We hung out, they took Von to the park while I had a work meeting. We watched You’ve Got Mail and had McDonald’s for lunch. We tried to get Von down for a nap but she refused so we went to the library and grabbed a few things from Target I needed for dinner.  

It was a simple day.  

A beautiful day.  

Von played and played and played and loved every second of time she got with my mom and Kenna. It was the best.  

Hugging them as they left for the airport tonight was hard, it always is, but I know I’ll see them again soon. 

I’m feeling super grateful for the sacrifices my family makes to be able to see us as often as they do. In some ways they bring pieces of home here, and in some ways I’m making home right where I’m at.  

 

 

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Where You Lead, I Will Follow

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Do you ever have those days where you wake up motivated and ready to chase your dreams and accomplish your goals?

I had that kind of morning today.  

Even though I got to sleep in a bit today, Von was still sleeping when I woke up and I was able to write for almost an hour and a half! I was feeling pumped and excited about my novel and about my future as a writer. 

Von woke up and we had breakfast and played until it was her nap time. 

In the middle of her nap I was hit with so many feelings. 

that I wasn’t good enough (so why try to be a writer) 

that I wasn’t writing the “right” story (because I have so many ideas) 

and on and on.  

My thoughts started to spiral.  

When Von woke up we had to head up to the leasing office to pick up a package that was delivered there. We were out for maybe 10 minutes but it gave me fresh perspective.  

On our way back to our apartment, Von wanted to take every path we passed. I held her hand and gently guided her to stay on the path that was the easiest and would get us hope the fastest.  

Some of the paths she wanted to go down would have gotten us home just fine. And sometimes she wanted to walk through flowers. 

As we were walking I wondered “I wonder if this is how God feels about us sometimes. He knows the best way for us to get home. There are other ways we can go, different things we can do (that are also good) and there are some paths we shouldn’t take. But He’s always there, holding our hands, ready to lead us.”  

It was a simple yet profound thought.  

I want to be better at listening to God’s voice. We talked about Hearing God’s Voice  yesterday at church and how sometimes we just need to keep walking and doing good and trust that direction will come (when it doesn’t come right away.)

Today I was reminded of that. That I don’t need to worry or freak out because I know that He is up there listening to my prayers, and ready to take me by the hand and lead me along. 

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