I Should Probably Be Sleeping

It’s barely 10 but for some reason that feels so late.

I started going to bed between 8-9 after I got married and now anything after 9:30 feels like I’m up way too late and should be sleeping. And let’s face it, I should probably be sleeping.

But my mind is going a mile a minute and I can feel the anxiety starting to creep in and I know that writing helps, so here I am. A little unsure of what I’m going to say or if I’ll even post this once I write whatever comes out but here I am.

Today was great. It was awesome. Even though Von didn’t really nap and was fussy for a little bit of today, today was still really enjoyable.

I loved listening to Von laugh and say ‘hi’ to every person she saw while we were eating lunch at McDonald’s. And how she’d grab my mom or dad’s hand and bring them to her bedroom so that they could play. I’m really glad that my parents are here this week, and that Von is getting to know them even better and that I get to hang out with them while Griffin is at work.

After they headed to their hotel, Griffin was out with Persephone and saw that we have some sort of bubble in our tire. We’ll need to get it fixed but in the end it’s not that big of a deal, at least, that’s what I’m trying to tell my anxious brain.

It’s crazy to me how I was feeling so good and awesome just a few hours ago and now I’m feeling anxious and stressed. Once my brain starts spiraling, it can be hard to shut down the thoughts.

It started with the tire. I got stressed about how to deal with it. My mind couldn’t figure out what we needed to do. But we’ve got a plan, I’ll have to make a call or two tomorrow and thankfully my parents are here and we’ve got their rental car so we won’t be completely carless.

Even after we figured that out though, my brain started working in overdrive. I got anxious and stressed about things that I don’t need to be worrying about, at least not tonight. So now I’m writing when I should be sleeping, just trying to get the thoughts out of my head and also figure out a few things that I’ve been thinking about a lot recently in regards to work and what I’d like to be doing to help with our finances.

Anyway.

This blog post is sort of ramble-y and I don’t really know what else to say or how to end it. I don’t really have a point…. Maybe just that even though I am feeling anxious and a little stressed, I’ve still been able to see God’s hand in everything.

Life rarely goes the way that we have planned, but even when things go wrong, God is always there and He’s always extending His hand and filling our lives with tender mercies.

I want to be better at seeing those tender mercies.

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