Today was a bit of a rough day for all of us. At least, it was for Von and I. I had a PTSD episode last night, which resulted in me getting very little sleep, and Von has been tired and cranky most of the day. We’ve also had lots of snuggles and a nice car ride, but I am glad that it’s nearly time for bed.
I feel like even though today was on the harder side, it was still a good day. I cried as I watched TikToks of Veteran’s coming home and felt grateful for their service. And I cried as I read this post from Stephanie Nielson. I’ve been reading Stephanie’s blog for as long as I can remember (but very regularly for the past 5 years) and this post made me cry.
I had a rush of emotions as I read about her daughter who just got her mission call. I was thrown back in time to 8 years ago when I was preparing for my own mission. I felt so much peace and joy as I remembered getting called to serve in California and my experiences of sharing Christ there.
Then I cried again as she wrote about how she can remember Claire being a little toddler, running around and then how quickly she’s grown up.
Sometimes I feel like I blinked and already it’s been (almost) 3 years since Von was born. How is that even possible? And then I step back and wonder, am I doing enough to teach her about Christ? To raise her to love God? Ultimately, that’s what I want for her, to have her own relationship with God because my own relationship with Him has brought me so much peace.
I feel like 2020 rocked my world a bit, with anxiety higher than it’s been in years and then the pandemic which has made it so we don’t attend church each week. I really miss going to church. I’d also love to say that we’ve been great about doing at home church, but it just doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.
I’m hoping after the reflecting I’ve done today, that that will change, even if it’s just small and simple changes at first. I know that God loves our efforts and blesses us for them, it’s just time for me to show up a little more so that we can all be more centered on the Savior during this time of so much unrest.
And I guess that’s what the point of this post is today. I can talk about Jesus all day long online, but if I’m not talking about Him as often at home, then I’m failing in that aspect. Today was a reminder to 1) give myself grace and 2) try a little harder to bring Christ into our home a little more.