The Calm in the Storm

Yesterday we got the news that we’ve been hoping and praying for.

Instantly I felt relief and peace. I hit my knees and prayed to God saying “thank you thank you thank you” over and over again until Von came over to me concerned and I got up to play with her.

And then a little later, after the initial rush of peace and excitement started to settle, I started to feel overwhelmed and stressed.

There are still quite a few unknowns in our future. There are so many things that we need to do this week to prepare for the coming weeks. I looked around at our apartment where the dishes have been piling up because I’ve been too stressed to think about them let alone do them. I felt overwhelmed by the clutter I started clearing this weekend but haven’t been able to drop off at the thrift store yet.

And just like that my mind started to race and my heart rate rose and I felt like an anxiety attack was coming.

I started to pray.

This time, instead of thanking God for this beautiful miracle that’s happening, I prayed for calm, for a quiet mind, for clarity to know what to focus on and what to do this week so we could get it all done.

Immediately I felt relief. I was reminded of the story of Christ, when he’s fast asleep on the boat while the storm is raging around them. The disciples were afraid. “Carest thou not that we perish?” They asked him when he finally woke up.

But the waters knew His voice. The sea was calmed. All because of Christ.

Christ can also be the calm spot in our personal storms. If I’ve learned anything this past month it’s that I need to have a foundation in Him. I need to keep myself centered in Him so that I can feel that peace when the waves of life keep coming at full force.

He is the calm in the storm. Always.

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Where You Lead, I Will Follow

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Do you ever have those days where you wake up motivated and ready to chase your dreams and accomplish your goals?

I had that kind of morning today.  

Even though I got to sleep in a bit today, Von was still sleeping when I woke up and I was able to write for almost an hour and a half! I was feeling pumped and excited about my novel and about my future as a writer. 

Von woke up and we had breakfast and played until it was her nap time. 

In the middle of her nap I was hit with so many feelings. 

that I wasn’t good enough (so why try to be a writer) 

that I wasn’t writing the “right” story (because I have so many ideas) 

and on and on.  

My thoughts started to spiral.  

When Von woke up we had to head up to the leasing office to pick up a package that was delivered there. We were out for maybe 10 minutes but it gave me fresh perspective.  

On our way back to our apartment, Von wanted to take every path we passed. I held her hand and gently guided her to stay on the path that was the easiest and would get us hope the fastest.  

Some of the paths she wanted to go down would have gotten us home just fine. And sometimes she wanted to walk through flowers. 

As we were walking I wondered “I wonder if this is how God feels about us sometimes. He knows the best way for us to get home. There are other ways we can go, different things we can do (that are also good) and there are some paths we shouldn’t take. But He’s always there, holding our hands, ready to lead us.”  

It was a simple yet profound thought.  

I want to be better at listening to God’s voice. We talked about Hearing God’s Voice  yesterday at church and how sometimes we just need to keep walking and doing good and trust that direction will come (when it doesn’t come right away.)

Today I was reminded of that. That I don’t need to worry or freak out because I know that He is up there listening to my prayers, and ready to take me by the hand and lead me along. 

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