Do you ever have those moments where you just throw your hands up in the air and look up and yell at God?
You scream “why? Why God? Why this? Why now?”
It’s easier to yell and scream and ask why when things don’t make sense. Our first instinct isn’t to trust God and trust that everything will work out. At least, it’s not my first instinct. My first emotion is usually fear.
The past few weeks have been a wild roller coaster of emotions. I’m not going to get into to much detail right now, because we’re in the thick of it, but I’ll share another day. Today though, I keep thinking about hope.
I started thinking about this because of Eva Love. She’s the daughter of Lindsay from Lindsay Letters. She had a fluke accident and has been in the hospital with a bad brain injury. So many people have come together to pray for her, to ask and beg God for a miracle. I am constantly inspired by the hope and faith that her parents have.
I started asking myself, if that was us, would I have that faith? Would I have that hope that everything would work out? That it really is in God’s hand?
Right now we’re going through our own family challenge.
We don’t have anyone in the hospital, and for that I am so grateful. But we’re still shaking our fists and asking why. We’re still so stressed that Griffin and I have both been in tears multiple times. We don’t have any answers. We don’t know why this is happening. We also don’t know what is going to happen in the next few months.
It’s scary, the unknown. Especially when it involves more than just you. It’s terrifying, not knowing what the future holds. Not knowing where we’ll be a month from now or two months from now.
It’s hard to have hope and faith when there are so many questions.
But isn’t that what faith is? Trusting in the unknown? Trusting in God when there aren’t answers?
Isn’t hope leaning in God and in His goodness even though you’re questioning whether He really is watching out for you in that moment?
From my past experiences, I know that God is there. That God delivers, that God is watching out for us.
I also know that He can see the whole picture, He knows exactly what’s down the road for us, even though we feel like we’re surrounded by a fog so thick all we can do is trust that He’s up ahead of us and He’ll give direction when He’s ready + when we need it.
Right now we’re trusting, we’re hoping, we’re living with faith because we don’t have the answers.
There’s also this part of me that feels like something even greater than what we had is right around the corner, that because God loves us and is such an abundant giver, we will receive that soon, we just have to wait and trust and not be fearful.
Which is really hard for us. For me.
I guess I’m writing all of this because I needed my own reminder that God is good and that there is power when we have hope. I’m also writing this because I would love your prayers during this hard time, we have already felt the prayers of so many of you and I am so grateful for the strength that comes when we pray together.
God is good. God is watching out for us because we are His children. And I’m learning to trust in that.