Motherhood Archives - Taylor Epperson

Raising a Daughter

Today was a bit of a rough day for all of us. At least, it was for Von and I. I had a PTSD episode last night, which resulted in me getting very little sleep, and Von has been tired and cranky most of the day. We’ve also had lots of snuggles and a nice car ride, but I am glad that it’s nearly time for bed.

I feel like even though today was on the harder side, it was still a good day. I cried as I watched TikToks of Veteran’s coming home and felt grateful for their service. And I cried as I read this post from Stephanie Nielson. I’ve been reading Stephanie’s blog for as long as I can remember (but very regularly for the past 5 years) and this post made me cry.

I had a rush of emotions as I read about her daughter who just got her mission call. I was thrown back in time to 8 years ago when I was preparing for my own mission. I felt so much peace and joy as I remembered getting called to serve in California and my experiences of sharing Christ there.

Then I cried again as she wrote about how she can remember Claire being a little toddler, running around and then how quickly she’s grown up.

Sometimes I feel like I blinked and already it’s been (almost) 3 years since Von was born. How is that even possible? And then I step back and wonder, am I doing enough to teach her about Christ? To raise her to love God? Ultimately, that’s what I want for her, to have her own relationship with God because my own relationship with Him has brought me so much peace.

I feel like 2020 rocked my world a bit, with anxiety higher than it’s been in years and then the pandemic which has made it so we don’t attend church each week. I really miss going to church. I’d also love to say that we’ve been great about doing at home church, but it just doesn’t happen as often as I’d like.

I’m hoping after the reflecting I’ve done today, that that will change, even if it’s just small and simple changes at first. I know that God loves our efforts and blesses us for them, it’s just time for me to show up a little more so that we can all be more centered on the Savior during this time of so much unrest.

And I guess that’s what the point of this post is today. I can talk about Jesus all day long online, but if I’m not talking about Him as often at home, then I’m failing in that aspect. Today was a reminder to 1) give myself grace and 2) try a little harder to bring Christ into our home a little more.

Categories: Motherhood

Little Hands

Yesterday wasn’t a ‘normal’ day for us. Von fought me every step of the way, starting with wanting a brownie for breakfast instead of eggs and toast (we both sort of won, she got some brownie but also ate some eggs) to when we tried for over an hour to get her down for a nap. I’m not sure if she just wasn’t feeling well (probably because she ate a brownie for breakfast :/) or what was happening.

I did get frustrated at first, because that’s what usually happens when things don’t go according to ‘plan’ I say it like that because our days are so loosely planned anyway that it does seem silly for me to get stressed or frustrated about it. We have a routine that I’m trying to be better at sticking to, so that we can have more flow and rhythm in our days instead of wondering what we should do next.

I let go of my frustrations and we headed out to our little patio and I watched as Von played with water. She’s been obsessed with this game for about a week now and we spend hours outside moving the water from one cup to another. She loves it.

Yesterday she found a leaf in one of the cups and came and handed it to me, and I noticed how small her hands are. She’s getting so big, saying so many words, and starting to do so many things. But she is still this tiny little human.

Her little hands

grab mine
reach for me
wave hello
say bye-bye
eat food
tug on my legs
pat my chest
reach up to be held
find bugs and leaves and grass and flowers
hold bottles
clap
pat her bum
give knuckles and high fives
grab my hands and bring them to her face
say “hand” before she falls asleep, my hand in hers
put her thumb in her mouth when she’s sleepy
pets the dog
dances
plays in the water
read books

I love her little hands and all the things she does with them every day. Today I’m going to embrace the slow and just try to enjoy the day, no matter how it goes.

Categories: Family, Motherhood

This Stage of Life

I know a lot of moms love the newborn stage and say it was/is their favorite.

I’m happy for those people, but I wasn’t one of them.

I was so exhausted (and I really really don’t do well on that little sleep), my boobs hurt, I was sore from pushing out a baby. And while I did love smelling her newborn smell and having snuggles 24/7, it wasn’t my favorite stage.

I’m really loving this stage. Everyday Von is learning new words and new things. She loves to have dance parties and snuggle in the morning. Her favorite thing in the morning is to go to the fridge, try to open it, and ask for chocolate ? girl, I got you. Just after we we breakfast.

I love how she smiles at me, hugs me, and gives me random kisses. I love that she falls asleep in my arms for most naps and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We read books and dance and laugh a lot. We also both cry sometimes.

Today we played with this little dog we have. I would chase her with it and say “woof woof woof” and then she would say “woof woof woof” as she ran away laughing.

I really struggled in the beginning of being a mom.

Now I’m trying to enjoy this stage that we’re in and that’s my goal for every next stage of life.

There are hard and beautiful parts of every stage, and I want to be better at seeing more of the good.

Her little hands

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